2012-01-28
20 Photos Of Oprah Judging Your Birthday Gifts
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:45:22 +0000
While we’ve already sent a certain gentleman our well wishes for his 30th birthday this Sunday, it turns out another mega-celebrity will also be celebrating her birthday on January 29: None other than Improve Your Life Mogul Oprah Winfrey, who will turn 58 this Sunday. 58? She looks amazing. I guess that’s the benefit of having newborn baby owl blood slathered all over your face daily, right Ope? Oprah? *dial tone* That bitch. Anyway, to give it up for Oprah changing so many lives in her mere 58 years on this Earth (and future 400 years on whatever planet Tom Cruise owns that her spirit will reside on), here are 25 photos of her scrutinizing all the amazing presents she’s sure to receive this Sunday. Our best list idea? No. A cheap attempt to get Oprah to hire us to do anything, anything at all? Of course not!! Just a chance to marvel at what an expressive, innovative woman she is, and to think about how hard it must be to buy a gift for Oprah. What do you get the Oprah who has everything? I would just go with my gut. Like, actually hand my guts to her out of my open chest cavity, and pray that it’s good enough. (Click here for a handy Guide To Oprah Gift Giving.) 20. 19. 18. 17. 16. 15. 14. 13. 12. 11. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.Read more...
The Best 90s Dance Music Melodica Megamix You’ll Ever See
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:38:46 +0000
Looking to get a melodica cover of “Barbie Girl” stuck in your head for the rest of your life? GOOD NEWS! Check out this amazing SIX MINUTE medley of 90s dance hits all played in succession on a single melodica with true Jock Jams-worthy proficiency. I don’t think there’s any question that when it comes to melodica virtuosos, this guy is The Real McCoy. (Eh? Ehhh??) This’ll REALLY take you back to 1995. Or to current-day sporting events and Dreamworks movies: (via Jezebel, Everywhere)Read more...
The 50 Most Ridiculous Outfits from Paris Fashion Week
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:05:17 +0000
Paris Fashion Week just wrapped up, so let’s take a second to check out some of the stylish, practical outfits that reasonable humans will definitely be wearing by 2013. Here, in order of least most ridiculous to equally most ridiculous, are The 50 Most Ridiculous Outfits From Paris Fashion Week 2012 (semi-NSFW): 50. 49. 48. 47. 46. 45. 44. 43. 42. 41. 40. 39. 38. 37. 36. 35. 34. 33. 32. 31. 30. 29. 28. 27. 26. 25. 24. 23. 22. 21. 20. 19. 18. 17. 16. 15. 14. 13. 12. 11. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. (pics via Getty Images)Read more...
J.B. Smoove’s Rejected SNL Ideas Secretly The Best SNL Ideas
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:37:23 +0000
Splitsider brings us this clip of one of our favorite comedians ever, J.B. Smoove, appearing on one of our favorite late night shows ever, Jimmy Kimmel Live. While most of us know J.B. from his brilliant work as Leon on Curb Your Enthusiasm and as Manny on Everybody Hates Chris. He remains my favorite. But what many of you might not realize is that J.B. was also a writer on Saturday Night Live back in the Tina Fey era. Not just any writer… but a BRILLIANT one. He whips out his SNL notebook on Kimmel (at around 2:10) and proceeds to read out to Jimmy some of his rejected sketch ideas. You will hear these ideas and wonder how on EARTH could they be rejected, as they are funnier than at least 70 percent of what made it to air. Maybe what the real problem with SNL is is that they never made J.B. part of the cast. “Big Mistake, Huge Mistake!” — Julia Roberts walking out of the SNL writers room holding like 50 hat boxes. Take a listen here. That we never got to see Johnny Knoxville taste a man’s piss will haunt our remaining days. Part 1 of the interview is ahead!Read more...
The Ultimate 30th Birthday Adam Lambert GIF Wall
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:50:19 +0000
30 years ago, on January 29, 1982, a baby emerged from neath his mother somewhere in an Indianapolis hospital. A baby whose first cry probably sounded… a little bit… like this: And Adam Lambert was officially welcomed into this world. That’s right, it seems like only yesterday that Lambert was dressing up like the cutest little cowboy, and even yesterdayier that he became a household name as a result of his legendary American Idol stint. But on Sunday, Lambert officially changes demographic, as the man we’ve all come to know and love and drink with turns the big 3-0. Yup. 30 years old. Happened to me last summer, and if you’re reading this, Adam, you have nothing to worry about. Just pop a Boniva every few hours like I do, remember to renew your Costco membership, and fill up that Baby Bjorn your friends bought you as a “joke” full of empty Bud Light cans. I guarantee that, with these three steps, you won’t even notice that your body is slowly deteriorating!! But really, 30 is secretly the best age, where you can officially stop being polite and start getting real. Even sometimes at elegant restaurants. So to honor the man, the myth, and the journey that we’ve taken with Adam Lambert, we’d like to humbly present him with this small gift, so nicely compiled by digital producer Lauren Deiman (follow her on Twitter!): It’s The Ultimate 30th Birthday Adam Lambert GIF Wall. Here’s to a Happy 30th Birthday Adam!Read more...
REMINDER: Tim And Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie Is Available For Download Right Now
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:44:30 +0000
Just a friendly internetty public service announcement: The Tim & Eric full-length feature film, Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie, is available for download and also On Demand starting today. I haven’t watched it yet, as I am currently at my job where I inform people of such things, but you should probably go download it. I guarantee it will be hilarious, offputting, and amusingly tedious all at once! Like War Horse. That is, unless Tim & Eric took the most avant-garde approach of all and just released a completely normal, straightforward, serious film out of nowhere. But probably not! To help get you in the mood, here’s my favorite clip from the similarly awesome-and-tedious Tim & Eric Chrimbus Special, the revolutionary new Cinco Pasta Bear:Read more...
Kandi Burruss Wins “Best Overall Sex Toy” Award; Phaedra Reacts
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:02:22 +0000
Hot off the sex toy presses! News comes out of the AVN Awards that Real Housewife of Atlanta Kandi Burruss has walked away with the coveted “Best Overall Sex Toy” Award for her luxury line of pleasuring devices produced under the name “Bedroom Kandi.” Wow, between Bethenny Frankel’s “Skinny Girl” Margarita and Kandi’s sex toy line, The Real Housewives franchise is responsible for some of my own personal best Thursday nights. In the meantime, we contacted fellow Housewife Phaedra Parks for a comment on Kandi’s vibratious win. And this is what she had to say: When you’re blessed with gigantic, luscious lips the same size as those gigantic water massage beds at the mall, you gotta know how to use em. God bless her. (GIF via the hilarious Mickey Mouth blog, which is a must read for all Real Housewives fans.)Read more...
I Pity The Fool Who Don’t Own A MISTER TEA Tea Set
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:04:52 +0000
Not sure how it’s taken this long, but British designer Matt Jones just released this “Mr. Tea” custom tea set, which includes “A cup and saucer, a golden stirrer and sugar cubes, and Mr. T sticking out of the top”: Only 250 of the cups were made, and they’re currently selling online for around $70 USD (roughly the actual value of T’s real-life jewelry). It makes the perfect gift for Mother’s Day, if you wanna TREAT YOUR MOTHER RIGHT: (pic via Splash News)Read more...
How Could Heidi Klum Divorce This Guy?
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:51:55 +0000
Belated Oscar nomination to the genius who made this photo, which to be fair made the rounds a few months ago, but takes on a whole new meaning now that news of Heidi Klum and Seal’s divorce has been made public. Heidiiiiiii????? What happened? Did he used to come home late at night smelling like fish? Was it the constant, endless clapping? Did the blubber finally get to you? I gotta know! Because sleeping next to that thing above night after night doessssn’t really seem that bad to me. And for those of you who live for LITERAL PHOTOS, take a look at a quick MOMA-level art piece I put together depicting one of Seal’s best known works. Needless to say, it is my wallpaper now. (Actual wallpaper, none of this computer background bullsh*t.) PRESS PLAY AND SCROLL (And yes, Eliot did post this photo back in October. But what with the divorce and all, not to mention my brilliant photoshopping skills, I think it’s worth another look or nine.)Read more...
EWE OUTTA KNOW: Hot Pink Sheep Created For Breast Cancer Awareness Week
Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:18:12 +0000
This is a hot pink sheep. Before you grab your pitchforks and torches and book a one way ticket to New Zealand where these sheep live, a few things you should know. These are not naturally occurring hot pink sheep. No some genius in New Zealand decided to dye a flock of them hot pink, so that when people see them, their first thought is “I should probably get a mammogram” and not “we need to burn these devil animals down to the ground.” Those of you wishing to pet and hug each of these sheep individually (really, only me), you’re in luck: They live at a sheep amusement park called SHEEPWORLD. A real place. Sheepworld. I think you know and I know where I’ll be spending my summer internship this year, because I am merely an innocent college student with a love for farm animals. Ahead, exclusive photos of what my first few moments at Sheepworld will feel like. THE MOMENT I WALK IN: AND NOW I’M RUNNING…. I’M JUST RUNNING [via Splash]Read more...